Can someone who speaks russian tell me what this means in english?

can someone translate this for me. and please do not use an online translator. I want someone who speaks fluent russian to answer this question please. ONLY someone fluent in russian please! Anyways please can you tell me what this means -



Судя по тому,как меня трахает жизнь,я пиздец как сексуальна!!!Can someone who speaks russian tell me what this means in english?
He-he.

Actually, it self-ironic. Crude, too.

It means - judging from how life is screwing me up I am so f***ing sexy!Can someone who speaks russian tell me what this means in english?
One thing i can say about it is that is very bad, i cant translate it in English because they don't even have words like that.Can someone who speaks russian tell me what this means in english?
She thinks she is a very sexy girl because she has brutal sex often. Her sexual partner is her life :-)

Russian whore can tell it. It is filthy language!
Looks like Russian Mat to me, you naughty person!